Sneak attacks are impossible on crutches

A few things I have learned:

1. You cannot, no matter how hard you try, sneak up on someone while using crutches
2. Going to the bathroom in the middle of the night is made harder as you have to fully wake up before setting out on crutches... or face the alternate outcome.
3. Socks last twice as long
4. You can totally rock the one pant leg up look with a cast and no one will judge you (also, sneakers go with any outfit while on crutches...)
5. People who you have never met will randomly break out into long dissertations on how they, their child, or a friend of a friend broke ANY bone in their body...
6. A Chair in the kitchen is a god-send
7. Anything slippery on the floor is the devil incarnate
8. Being able to bring a whole plate of hot food from the kitchen to the living room without spilling it WHILE using crutches IS and artform
9. The insanity resulting from cabin fever will either crush you or comfort you... the voices aren't all bad...

As I continue to learn my lessons I will share them... just in the case that you run into someone with similar circumstances to mine whom you've never met, you can tell them "A Friend of a friend of mine had this blog and she said...."